A Kratos Karol
by freakyanimegal
Summary: Five-shot Christmas fic. Lloyd's a bit upset his father doesn't want to celebrate with them...so he did the only logical thing to do. Use the Eternal Sword to reinact the story of three ghosts with his companions as the ghosts, completely logical, right?
1. Chapter 1

**You all lucked out, the inspiration bug bit me. Well, hopefully I'll be able to get this done in time…and yes, it was either this or nothing, I fail DX lol**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and I bow to the supreme awesomeness that is Charles Dickens. All hail the writing deity!**

**A Kratos Karol**

Mithos was dead, to begin with, this is a fact one must keep in mind, for any of what follows to be extraordinary…Well, all right, maybe you don't really need that fact, but it'll make it all make a lot more sense. Yes, Mithos was dead, Cruxis defeated, the worlds united, and all were partaking in a group Christmas party the eve of the day. Oh yes, it was a very merry occasion indeed, there was much feasting and rejoicing, mistletoe and perverts, smacks and shrieks of pain, it was all in all quite an amusing event. Even the reclusive Yuan had deigned to grace them with his presence, though he was currently attempting to out-drink the dwarf which was Lloyd's adoptive father. Yes, all was well…for the most part. Arriving late through the door came his other father, the angel that sired him, and said angel had stopped dead in his tracks, staring in frozen horror at the spectacle.

Not that Lloyd noticed.

"Dad!" he grinned, waving to his father as he put up a reef that had fallen down. "About time, you're late for the party!"

It was not the fault of this boy that his ignorance was great and his sense of intelligence relatively meager, it was the fact he was dropped on his head several times as a child. That all put aside, the fact was he had welcomed his father home to a Christmas party…something, unfortunately for the oblivious teen, was something that would cause upset…

"…I'm going to bed," the man stated curtly, his voice as cold as the icicles that hung out the window, then proceeded to head to the stairs as he had said.

"H- Huh?" he stammered, his eyes widening. "What? Dad, come on! It's Christmas! Celebrate with us!"

He reached out to grab his father's arm and did so only to be met with a steely glare, the ignoble male freezing in his tracks.

"I do not like _Christmas,_" he hissed in the manner of a serpent, "So I'm going to bed, do you understand? Good night."

With that the man turned from his son and marched upstairs where the festivities were naught, the brunette that was left stammering, attempting to convince his father otherwise.

"H- Hey! Wait! Dad, come on-! You don't even have to sleep!" he cried, despair overtaking his face. "What's with him? What does he mean he doesn't like Christmas?"

"Been like that for eternity," the blue-haired man that was the enigmatic angel's friend shrugged, taking another swing of alcoholic liquid, "Don't let it get to you, it's not your fault."

"It is getting to me!" he cried. "What's wrong with him?"

"Hmph, yeah, he's being a real humbug," the silver-haired teen among them scoffed.

It was then that the awkward mood was shaken when the blunette that had spoken before threw back his head and laughed, drawing the eyes of all those that bore existence in the room. He continued to laugh until noting the stares of all present and that he, in fact, was the only one laughing. Slowly he raised an eyebrow, looking at all of theirs raised as well.

"…Scrooge," he said hesitantly, "You mean 'Scrooge', right?"

"No…I believe the term for someone who doesn't like Christmas is 'humbug'…" Raine bit her lip.

"…You're kidding me," Yuan said slowly, surveying the group.

"No, that's what it is," Sheena shrugged.

"Yeah, you drink too much, old timer?" Zelos laughed, taking a swig of spiked eggnog himself after he did so.

"I don't believe I've heard the term 'Scrooge'," Regal added.

"You've gotta be kidding me…" Yuan trailed, disbelief evident both in word, tone, and expression as well, "Look…'humbug' is what Scrooge _says,_ Scrooge is what you call someone like Kratos."

He was met with vacant looks from all present, serving only to further the angel's frustration. With a sigh of disdain he took one last swig of his beverage before turning to the group, deciding that matters would have to be taken in his own right.

"None of you know the 'Christmas Carol', do you?" he sighed.

"We know lots of carols," Colette frown, confused.

"No, not songs, it's a story," he explained, "A story about Scrooge…Christmas…three ghosts…any of this ringing a bell?"

"I don't believe so," Raine frowned deeply, "Is this something we should know?"

Yuan sighed and slumped back into his chair, muttering curses most foul under his breath to the forces that be for his predicament.

"I guess not, it was already an old story when I was growing up- Get that smirk off your face, Zelos."

"What?" the red-head scoffed, then began giggling in the manner of one who has ingested too much alcohol.

"Look, I suppose over the years this got confused," he sighed once more, "'Humbug' is the word Scrooge said, Scrooge was a bitter, cold, unfeeling tight-wad that despised Christmas and people in general."

"Huh, that does sound like Dad," Lloyd mused thoughtfully.

"Doesn't it?" Yuan smirked, then continued. "One Christmas Eve he was visited by three ghosts, the past, present and future of Christmas. Each ghost showed Scrooge Christmases of those eras, showing him the events he had lived and what would happen if he didn't change his ways."

"Fascinating, so what happened?" Raine asked, putting a hand to her chin.

"Well, he saw the error of his ways and had a personality 180," he shrugged, "Started loving Christmas, cherishing people…etc."

"Feh, I wish we could do that for Dad, then…" Lloyd huffed somewhat bitterly, looking where his father had last stood, "…He could use some Christmas spirit…he could at least just- ah…this sucks…"

It was common knowledge that the swordsman was not the most intelligent of persons, yet it still happened upon occasion that an idea would blossom in his, admittedly not academically-inclined, mind. So it was that this occurred, and a grin began to spread on his face.

"…Lloyd, I don't like that look," Yuan frowned.

"Well…why don't we do something like that, huh?" he grinned.

"Lloyd, that's ridiculous," he scoffed, "It's just a story, what were you gonna do? Have us dress and just try to talk to him? I doubt that'd get the desired result…"

"Well…okay, I guess not," he sighed, "…But…I think I have some way we could get something like that to happen."

With that he drew his two swords, the blade of fire and its twin of ice, holding them above his head. In a swirl of violent light and mana the two united, leaving the teen holding the single most powerful of objects in their world. His companions gasped, shocked at this action, and Yuan went to shout once more.

"Lloyd-! Y- You aren't serious? That's not a toy! Put it away-"

"Well, it can do anything, right?" he grinned. "It's just this once….for Dad."

The way he said the last words silenced his friends, how his eyes fell and his expression did as well, allowing the masked disappointment and pain to slip through to them for but a moment.

"…Lloyd, look…" the Seraph sighed, "Kratos- and- …aw hell, you know what? Fine. I've tried everything I can do, if anything can mess with him enough to get him to lighten up, hell, I guess it would have to be this."

Lloyd grinned.

"Okay then! Well-"

_Pact-maker, might I make a suggestion?_

All assembled froze, startled to hear the voice of the king of spirits echoing in their heads.

"Huh? Sure, Origin…what?"

_I believe I can make such a thing realistic enough, however, even I cannot guarantee it'll affect Kratos as you wish. However…I believe I know of a way to make it at least achieve an emotional response. …Though I will need a few of you to assist, hm?_

"…How exactly?" Yuan raised an eyebrow.

They heard a rather unnerving chuckle.

* * *

Kratos sat in his son's room on the bed they had put there for him to use upon his stay, though he was unlikely to use it… It was as his son had said, he had no need nor desire for sleep, and merely sat upon it, gaze out the window in silence at the lightly falling snow. What was going through the man's mind was as much a mystery to one as to any other, so we shall merely skim to when events of interest occur. The man sat by the candle-light in his usual fashion, lost in his dark, enigmatic thoughts of times long past, of death, of life, of lies and truth, the single source of light flicking shadows on the walls, the dark abyss of the outside world aiding nothing, though a brief gleam of light crept in through the bottom of the door. Strange, it was oddly silent…

Then the candle blew out.

He had felt no wind, no gust, and on instinct his hand flew to his sword, grasping the hilt tightly. He took to his feet, his senses strained to detect any sort of intruder, any sort of threat… This silence, this chill, this aura…something was off, externuously so, and yet-

A figure appeared before him and his sword met its neck.

The figure sighed loudly as Kratos' eyes widened slight, staring at what he saw.

Before him was a translucent figure of a man, clad in pearly rags and decked and strung in chains, chains that crossed his body, wrapped around his neck, bound his legs. The candle flickered to life again and parts of the room could be seen _through _the being…

Who looked very much like Yuan.

"…Yuan? What-?" he began, somewhat unnerved.

"You're in for a hell of a night, Kratos," he smirked sadly, shaking his head.

…**My, this should be fun X3 God I love Dickens' work, his writing style…3 Kya. I fangirl. **

**Review if you wish, I suppose, it was fun n.n **

**Merry Christmas! :D **


	2. Of Christmas Past

**Well, while I'm waiting for everyone to come home, I'm writing this.**

**Come to see them after five f'ing months and the day after they all go to school/work….(mutters) Sure, I'm happy to see the cats, but grr! DX**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Of Christmas Past**

Kratos merely stared at the apparition of what was his oldest friend, unsure if he was really seeing what he was seeing.

"Yes, strange, isn't it?" Yuan rolled his eyes. "Unfortunately for you, I'm not really dead, but…do you remember that 'Christmas Carol' story?"

"…" Kratos blinked, "Are you supposed to be Marley or something?"

"Ah, you do," Yuan smirked, "Yeah well…then I assume you remember the whole shmeal? Blah blah blah, you're a dick, blah blah blah, you will be visited by three spirits this night, expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one…etcetera?"

"I'm not amused, Yuan," Kratos spat, his expression expressionless.

"You think I am? This wasn't my idea," the half-elf scoffed, "You can blame your son for that, and Origin…"

"What do you mean?" Kratos frowned. "What exactly is going on here?"

Yuan went to say something when the sound of a clock tolling was heard. From where? No one could be certain, as there were no such clocks in the dwelling, and it wasn't even ten yet, much the less one. Both Seraphim looked around and Yuan frowned a bit, then raised an eyebrow.

"Huh, apparently we're not waiting that long," he mused, "Well then, have fun, Kratos. Though gods know I wouldn't in your shoes…"

"Is this some kind of joke?" Kratos spat, irritated. "Yuan, is this a hologram of some sort?"

"Look, believe it if you want," he rolled his eyes, "It's not me you're hurting."

With that the form of Yuan seemed to blow away, as if he had been made of ash and a light wind had scattered him away. Kratos, both skeptical and astonished at once, looked around, attempting to locate the source of the tolls.

"This is ridiculous-" he scoffed.

A bright light flashed in the room, temporarily blinding him. Gritting his teeth he strained his eyes open to attempt to see what had happened, but all that met his vision was light…and then slowly a figure formed. Emerging from the pale light stepped a woman, donning a vibrant white gown and veil. Contrasting this was her brown hair that fell to her shoulders, and the warm, chocolate-brown eyes.

"…" Kratos choked, his mouth falling agape somewhat.

"Hello, honey," she ginned, a goofy, pure expression.

"Anna…?" Kratos whispered, his eyes widening.

The woman merely nodded with a smile as the light faded and they were left once more in a dimly lit room, a holy aura of sorts surrounding the woman before the angel. There was a few moments of silence as Kratos attempted to form some sort of reaction, some sort of thought. She walked forward and placed her hands on his face, smiling warmly.

"You never were one to believe stuff like this, were you?" she laughed.

"No," Kratos snapped, stepping away from her, "This….isn't real."

"How did I know you were going to say that?" the woman put her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes in a comical manner. "Well, I guess it wouldn't be you if you did believe it right away…"

Kratos' mind was racing. What was this? This couldn't possibly be happening. This…she…Anna was long dead, why-? Who was doing this? What kind of cruel trick could this be, to portray the vision of his loved one in such a manner? Surely Yuan wouldn't stoop to _this_…besides, he would have no reason to- What had he said? Something about Lloyd and Origin? This-

"I know this is hard for you to understand, Kratos," Anna said with a sigh, "It's…well, see, Lloyd was kind of upset with you-"

"Pardon? What did I-?"

"What did you do!?" she roared suddenly, startling the Seraph. "I'll tell you what you _did _you apathetic anti-Christmas emotionless _jerk_!"

The man could only stare when she reached out and grabbed him by the collar, yanking his head down to her face as she glared death at him.

"You, mister stoic, hurt our baby's feelings!" she shouted. "He was all excited to spend Christmas with you, after _all _the years you've been away from him, and you did what?! You did WHAT?! I'll tell you what you did! You shot him down! You had to go on your damn _emo-fest _and angst somewhere and make him sad!"

With this she began to shake him back and forth, shouting at the top of her lungs.

"ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH YOU AND YOU HAD TO GO AND BE A _COMPLETE. _TOTAL. _ASS!!!"_

She released Kratos and he could only stare at her, his jaw hanging open as she took deep, panting breaths, red color flushing her face. After a minute of Kratos finding himself unable to even register a thought, Anna took a final deep breath and adjusted her veil, which had gone askew in her rage.

"Yeah, so, once you did _that _Yuan told him about the whole Christmas Carol thing, so Lloyd decided to use the Eternal Sword to try to make you come around," she huffed, still trying to calm herself, "Origin thought it'd be better to have some of us do it, and I w_as_ technically there, in the exsphere…. So I decided to help out. I'm kinda like one of those astral body things, Origin could manage that much."

Kratos shook his head, bringing a hand to his forehead.

"Wait just one moment, you mean…you're-?"

"The Ghost of Christmas Past! Isn't that _awesome_!?" she grinned brightly. "I- Ooooh, you were going to say 'real' right? Yes, I am, but sadly it's only temporary…"

"…I-"

"You want me to prove it?" she scoffed, hands on her hips once more. "Fine."

A rather disturbing smirk went over her face and she drew near him, the man finding himself frozen. She stood on her tip-toes and whispered something in his ear, his eyes going wide and his face flushing a rather bright red color. A second later he drew back, coughing nervously as she purred a bit.

"You always knew what was good in be-"

"All right, that's enough," Kratos snapped, "You-…."

"Yes?" she smiled at him.

"…" it took significant amounts of will power for his next sentence, "You…you're really…Anna?"

"Yeah," she smiled again, her eyes glinting warmly.

"…A-" he began.

"Look, as happy as I am to see you, I've got a time-limit," she frowned, "Gotta job to do and all, so let's get going."

"Going? What do you-?"

The blinding light surrounded them once more, and when it cleared, Kratos found himself standing alone in a much different setting. It was a parlor of sorts, brightly light, a dwelling that indicated much wealth. A towering tree stood in the center of the room, chairs of sorts around it, a chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. The man gaped a bit, then looked around frantically, attempting to locate Anna.

_This is a Christmas from your childhood, right? _Her voice giggled. _Wow, ancient history! Ha!_

He went to say something when the door opened, and he promptly lost the ability to speak. A young boy of about five years dashed in, a huge grin on his face as a maid trotted after him, feigning annoyance with his behavior.

"Wow! This tree's ginormous!" grinned the boy, jumping up and down in excitement.

"Young master, the party isn't starting for another half hour," smiled the maid weakly, "Really, come back here and let me try to comb your hair again…"

Like that was possible. The auburn locks stood up at impossible angles, it looked like nothing could possibly tame it. He let out a loud 'humph' at the woman, sitting himself down by the tree and crossing his arms in defiance over the intricate little tux he wore.

"No!" he huffed.

"…" Kratos gaped.

_AWWWW! You we're so- so CUTE! _Anna cheered. _Kya! Aw, why didn't you tell me you used to be adorable? Heheheheheh…._

"What…is this?" Kratos whispered, stunned.

_The past, duh, weren't you paying attention? You should know the drill, right? They can't see or hear you…that whole thing._

"Young master, please," the maid sighed, "Your parents will be displeased…"

The boy huffed and looked away, refusing to listen to her.

"Look, I know you're excited, but-"

"Is he causing trouble, Meredith?"

Kratos fought back a choking sound.

"M- Milady! N- No, not at all, he just-"

"It's quite all right, let me talk to him," said the woman that had entered, approaching the boy.

A dark-haired woman with wine eyes, donned in a crimson ball gown, adorned with golden pieces of jewelry and hair ornaments. The boy seated by the tree flinched, looking up at the woman. He grinned and leapt to his feet, running to the woman.

"Mommy!" he cried, jumping into her arms when she stooped to receive him.

"Heh," she smirked, holding her son, "Now then, Kratos, what did I tell you about annoying the maids?"

"But Mommy!" he whined, his eyes watered. "I want to see the tree more!"

"I know, my son," she said, gently kissing his cheek, "but you must wait….besides, you do know who will be here soon, hm?"

"Daddy?" he gasped.

"Yes," she smiled, "Your father's coming home for today, I'm sure you're very excited to see him, hm?"

The boy cheered and his future self fell silent, his gaze falling to the ground. There was a brief flash of light as Anna appeared beside him, looking a mix between curious and anxious.

"…Your father was never around?" she asked.

"We were at war," Kratos said simply, "my father was the general…it was only to be expected that he was rarely ever at home."

"Still…" Anna bit her lip, "That had to be hard for you, growing up…is that why you never wanted to talk about your childhood?"

"Partly," he muttered.

"Now then, let's get you a little snack before the party, hm?" Kratos' mother smiled.

"I don't wanna!" cried the child. "I wanna wait for Daddy!"

"Oh, very well then," the woman sighed, "We can wait in here, just don't touch anything or ruin your outfit, all right, darling?"

"…Must we see this?" Kratos asked, his voice soft.

"We're supposed to," Anna nodded, "Why? You don't want to see this?"

"…" Kratos closed his eyes, "I'd rather not."

It seemed as the minutes, the hours spent by the child and his mother waiting flew by in seconds, seeing the child begin to grow antsy, the mother beginning to fidget, the hands of the clock whirl by as the candles began to grow dim. The party they spoke of never occurred, and the mother began to pace the floors after each messenger came. Someone would appear, speak to her quickly, and disappear again, leaving her more and more anxious time by time…

"Mommy?" the child asked finally, tired. "Is Daddy coming home?"

"I don't know, Kratos," she whispered, "I don't know."

"What happened?" Anna asked, looking up at her spouse.

"…Father had been attacked on his way home," Kratos said stiffly, his face blank, "They managed to bring him to a hospital, and they were working on him."

"Oh- he- did he…?" Anna frowned.

Kratos shook his head, his eyes misted.

"No, he didn't die," he whispered softly.

"He's awake, milady!" a final messenger exclaimed.

The scene blurred, twisted, whirled around like a storm of colors and sounds, when it settled they were in a different setting, the woman holding the child Kratos at the bed-side of an auburn-haired man in what was unmistakably a hospital.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, frowning.

He had bandages wrapped around his head, his eyes somewhat glazed as he looked at the woman and the child, as if unsure they were speaking to him.

"…Better," he muttered.

A smile spread onto her face, relief, though the child in her arms didn't seem to share her relief. He was looking at his father in silence, as if he sensed what was to come.

"Oh thank goodness….Kratos? Did you want to talk to your father?"

The man in the bed jerked, staring at her. This took the woman by surprise and she slowly looked down at him, frowning.

"Darling? What's the matter?" she asked.

"…Father?" he said slowly.

"…Darling? What are you…saying?" she hesitated to ask, horror dawning in her features.

"…I….I don't-," the man shook his head, "I don't have a son, I'm not even married, am I?"

Her eyes widened in horror as the child began to cry.

"Wait, what?" Anna shook her head. "What just-?"

"Father lost his memory," Kratos explained stiffly, "His mind soon after."

"Kratos-" Anna began, going to put a hand on his shoulder.

"We've seen it, let's leave," he said, looking away from her, "I don't like recalling things that are unnecessary-"

"But you do, don't you?"

Kratos froze, then swiftly turned to look at the woman, who frowned at him sadly.

"Kratos…you always remember things you- well, it's not that you don't have to remember them, it's that you hold on to them when you shouldn't," she sighed, biting her lip, "You do that all the time, too much of the time… I'm a prime example, aren't I? I'm one of the things you can't let go of-"

"Of course I can't-" he began.

"Not that, silly," she smiled weakly, "You can't let go of what happened, I mean. You can't…you can't stop remembering that, and letting that hurt you… So it's kind of wrong you say you don't want to recall stuff that's 'unnecessary' when you can't let go of things you should."

"Anna-"

Once again the world around them distorted, and the couple found themselves in a new place. However, the man recoiled slightly when what he saw were duplicates of the two of them to begin with, a purple-clad man and brunette woman, though they appeared to be in the heat of an argument….

"Ah yes," Anna grinned, "I remember this one…"

"Anna, it's absolutely out of the question," snapped the duplicate of Kratos at the double of Anna, "We don't have time to spend on things of this nature, we should-"

"Oh please!" scoffed the woman. "Look, you got away with it the last few times because either we weren't married or the Desians were hot on us, but this time you can't use that excuse! They have no clue where we are right now, and it's in a _week_-"

"Must we waste time on such trivialities?" he sighed. "We should-"

"Trivialities?! And since when is the _best day of the year _a waste of time?! This is the first opportunity we've had to have a proper Christmas, and you don't want to?! What's the matter with you, you humbug!?"

"Humbug?" the man repeated slowly.

"Yeah, what? Haven't you heard that before?"

"…"

"Mommy's and Daddy's fightin' 'gain?"

All four adults turned to look toward the door, where a toddler with brown hair whimpered, looking up at his parents as he clung to a little red blanket. Kratos choked a bit and Anna let out a squeal, clapping her hands together.

"Oooooh! Look! It's back when he had that security blanket! Isn't that precious?!" she cried. "Oh, my baby's grown up so fast…"

"N- No," said the other Anna, "Mommy and Daddy aren't 'fighting', we're just…talking. Loudly."

"Lloyden, why are you up? It's late," the other Kratos frowned, "You should get back to bed."

"Bad dweam," said the child with a slight whimper, holding the blanket tighter to his little body.

"Well, that's all right," his mother smiled weakly, "I'll take you back to bed, okay?"

"Daddy come and check for mownsters?" he asked, looking up at his father with big brown eyes.

"Yes, he will," the woman glared at her husband, who sighed and then complied with her wishes.

As they walked out, Lloyd fell asleep in his mother's arms, the woman smiling down at him before snapping her eyes back up to glare death at her spouse.

"We are giving him a real Christmas this year, understand?" she snapped. "He deserves one."

The man she spoke to hesitated for just a moment before nodding with a sigh, finding himself unable to deny his wife when she spoke like that. He looked at his son in the woman's arms and gently touched the boy's cheek with his fingers, his eyes misted slightly.

"…For Lloyd, then," he said stiffly.

"Heh, all right," she winked at him.

"And that was a great Christmas! Wasn't it?" Anna grinned as the world changed once more.

Christmas day, the toddler Lloyd sitting by the tree they had put up with his mother.

"Hold still, Lloyd!" she laughed, struggling with her child as he practically bounced up and down. "You're not opening anything until you calm down!"

"…" the father looked on, glancing away from his family.

"Oh Kratos, geez!" she scoffed. "Really, I wish sometimes you could have an ounce of Lloyd's energy!"

"I have energy," he replied curtly, "I just put it to-"

"Say 'more important' things, and I'll cut off your-" she began.

"Daddy no wanna?" Lloyd's voice interrupted, drawing their attention.

"…" he hesitated.

"Daddy no…happys?" the child whimpered, his brown eyes beginning to brim with tears.

"N- No, Lloyd, I'm- Daddy's very-" the man found himself stammering, kneeling down by the boy, "…Daddy is…"

He hesitated for a good moment, in which Anna turned to Kratos, frowning.

"What were you thinking right there?" she asked him. "I always wanted to ask, but…"

"My father," he replied softly, "How I cried when my father was no longer truly with us. Being Christmas and all, I remembered that…and then seeing Lloyd upset because of me, his 'daddy'…"

"Aaawwww, you really are a sensitive guy, aren't you?" Anna grinned.

"Tch," he snorted.

The past Kratos sighed deeply, holding his arms open to Lloyd, leaving himself open to a hug.

"I'm sorry, Lloyd," he said, "I'll try to be happy, okay-? Uh!"

The toddler tackled him, wrapping the man in a tight hug only a child can manage to perform.

"Daddy daddy daddy!" he cried.

The mother laughed as the father wrapped his arms around the boy, a gentle smile slowly working his way into his lips. Kratos watched on, unable to understand his own emotions. Yes, Christmas had come to mean something again with them, but once he thought he lost them…those precious memories became foes, those wonderful times served only to plague him more with the realizations that he would never have them back, that he would never be able to experience that joy again…

"Is this an 'unnecessary' memory too?" Anna hissed from his side.

He fidgeted a bit, looking between the scene from their past and then briefly back at his wife.

"…No," he answered softly.

"No memory is unnecessary, Kratos," she frowned, "but you can't enslave yourself to them either…"

"I lost you," he said, turning to look at her, "I lost both you and Lloyd, I lost this, it was all my fault-"

Anna smacked him across the face, the man's eyes widening.

"Did you even _listen _to me earlier?!" she scoffed up at him. "That's just your problem! You did what I asked you to do, Kratos! If anyone, _I _should apologize for making you- It wasn't either of our faults! We did what we had to do to protect Lloyd! Y'know why?!"

She pointed at the toddler that was now opening a present, grinning.

"Because that boy right there is more important than you, or me, or both of us! He _is _both of us, Kratos! And so much more than that!" she shouted. "You lost this, so what?! You haven't lost Lloyd! You did, for a long time, but you can change that now! You and Lloyd are together, he _wants _to know you, Kratos! So let him!"

"But-" he hesitated.

"If you don't, Kratos, then you really will lose him," she said, glaring up at him with a set expression of the utmost seriousness, "You'll lose him in the worst way you can."

"…Anna-" he began.

The world whited out, blinding him from everything, including her. He closed his eyes against the light, feeling her hands gently holding his face.

_Love me by loving him, understand? Tell him I love him too, would you?_

He felt her lips press against his, his heart abruptly coming to a halt that second before the feeling disappeared along with her presence, along with the light. There he was, once again alone, in that room he had closed himself in, gaping at nothing.

_I love you, Kratos…_

He could only stand there, his eyes wide and jaw-slack. After a moment he shook his head violently, gritting his teeth as he began to pace the floor. Ridiculous, this whole thing was ridiculous! What was this? Some twisted dream, a violent apparition? What…why did existence have to torture him this way? With visions of his past, of his love, with warnings of…

What did she mean, lose Lloyd?

That one thought cleared away the storm of confusion and frustration running through his head. Lose Lloyd? Again? How? What did she mean by that? Perhaps…perhaps he should-

A bell began to toll.

"Tch," he growled, clenching his fists, "Must this continue-?"

Suddenly, the dim candle's warm light seemed to flare up to fill the entire room with a warm, orange-gold light, flooding the room with and undeniably pleasant feeling, as much as Kratos would deny it. Then just suddenly, the empty room was playing host to a mass of different foods, as if a feast was being carried out right in that bedroom. Turkeys, pies, vegetables, anything one could imagine was seated anywhere you could think, from on the bed to on the shelves of the bookcase. He could only stare a moment before he felt an arm sling around his shoulders, turning to see the familiar grinning face of his son, wearing what appeared to be a rich-material red robe, a reef of sorts on his head.

"Hey, Dad!" he grinned. "Betcha weren't expecting this, huh?"

**X3 ****And yes, as a matter of fact, the Muppets was my favorite Christmas Carol too XD**

**Review? n.n**

**Merry Christmas! :D**


	3. Of Christmas Present

**Haven't….had…candycane…in a week….DX**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Must…have…candycane…DX**

**Of Christmas Present**

"Lloyd?" Kratos whispered, staring down at his son.

"Heh heh, yeah, I know you're kinda weirded out and all…" the teen rubbed the back of his neck, "But this is for your own good!"

"My own-?" Kratos scoffed. "Lloyd, what is the meaning of this? Why are you dressed like that?"

"Didn't Yuan tell you?" Lloyd bit his lip. "This is…well…I used the Eternal Sword and Origin said he'd help me out a bit, so we decided to do the Christmas Carol thing Yuan mentioned-"

"So Yuan is the one that got this idea into your head?" he scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Well yeah- but look, this doesn't last long, so we need to get down to business," he smiled.

"Lloyd-" the man started.

"I am the Ghost of Christmas Present!" Lloyd grinned warmly, throwing his arms out with a flourish as he did so. "And I am going to show you all the good stuff about Christmas!"

"For some reason I doubt strongly that I will be impressed," the man spat icily.

Despite his appearance of the stoic man he was believed to be, accompanied by the heart encased with his icy demeanor, he was in fact truly disturbed. For what his departed bride had said did indeed unnerve him, his thoughts now focused on that of his child before him and how exactly it was that he would lose him…

"Hmph," Lloyd crossed his arms, glaring at his father, "Well, too bad! You're going to go through this, okay? Besides, you don't get a choice- Oh yeah, I suppose you're wondering what all the food is here for, right?"

"I already know," Kratos sighed slightly, "it's the food of generosity, correct?"

"Y- Yeah…." Lloyd blinked, "How'd you know?"

"I know this story, Lloyd," the man sighed.

"Oh…well, then you know what's coming, huh?"

With this he smirked slyly at his father, who went to speak before Lloyd snapped his fingers and the world whited out around them. Kratos flinched, realizing he was doing the very same thing his mother had done not minutes ago.

"Sorry Dad, but you forced me!" Lloyd grinned. "We're going to see what everyone is doing Christmas tomorrow! Starting with Yuan …"

Now, Yuan was known to be reclusive in his own right, and quite enigmatic to those that were not in his immediate circle. Not that there were many in his immediate circle either, but perhaps it was some sense the brown-haired male had, or Origin's influence, but the father and son found themselves standing in what was unmistakably the Renegade base, though it was almost impossible to recognize it due to the décor. Both Kratos and his guide froze, their mouths hanging agape somewhat as they observed the scene. Chaos ran rampant as many Renegades, helmetless, cheered and socialized loudly, the majority of them drunk, yet all of them quite obviously enjoying themselves. Yuan himself was currently laughing hysterically at something one of his troops had told him, red in the face and evidently rather tipsy.

"Hah hah hah! Y- Y'know, I always-" he hiccupped loudly, grinning like a fool, "Thought that'd be _fucking _funny…yer sucha funny guy…."

He slapped the soldier on the back and then they erupted into fits of somewhat manic laughter, haphazardly singing some indistinguishable Christmas tune.

"…" Kratos blinked.

"Uh…" Lloyd stared, then flinched suddenly.

"Lloyd?" Kratos eyed his child.

"Oh, yes," Lloyd laughed, rubbing the back of his head, "Right, as you can see, Dad, even Yuan gets excited about Christmas! Sure, he's not really doing it the way most of us would, but he's still celebrating and enjoying himself! And he has just as much 'I'm old as hell I hate the world' baggage as you do!"

"Yes, thus he destroys his liver and pollutes his brain in order to escape it, quite admirable," Kratos spat, his arms crossed over his chest.

Lloyd glared at his father, trying not to say anything that might endanger his 'mission' of sorts. Instead, he took a deep breath and continued, doing his best to focus on the task at hand.

"The point is, Dad, that even Yuan can enjoy himself at Christmas! He doesn't even really have family, but the Renegades are his family! Don't you see that? He still celebrates and has fun with the people he cares about, and he's…_Yuan_."

"…" the Seraph merely looked away.

"Oh come on, did you have to mention that buzzkill?"

Both Aurions turned to look at Yuan, whom had spoken and was now groaning a bit, his head propped up by his arm that rested on the table.

"Sorry, boss…we were just kinda wonderin'…" said one male, frowning.

"Yes," nodded a female, "I mean, no offense, boss, but we do know the whole story behind you two- sure, maybe not the details, but you used to be so tight!"

"Heh, nice word choice," Yuan spat, taking another drink, "That's exactly what happened to him, he got so uptight. I mean, yeah…I completely understand why he would be, after what happened with Anna and all…"

Kratos' throat tightened, merely staring at his eldest friend as Lloyd in turn zeroed in on Yuan's words, anxious to hear more from the enigmatic Seraph.

"It's a shame, really," Yuan sighed, muttering under his breath, "Since Botta's gone…and Mithos went nuts years upon years ago…he really is the only real friend I got left…"

"Real friend?" one of them teased nervously. "Look, boss, we know we're not really on your level and all, but we all agreed to follow you for a reason, right?"

"Yeah," agreed another, "We all respect you and look up to you, boss!"

"I wouldn't mind getting a little closer to you," a female giggled, intoxicated.

Yuan being so himself, laughed loudly along with his workers, throwing back his head as they all erupted into fits of drunken guffaws.

"…" Kratos shook his head, "How very like him."

"Is that all you can say?" Lloyd asked, somewhat irritated. "Your best friend is sitting right there, saying how important you are to him, and that's the only thing you-? Doesn't this make you feel at all?"

Kratos merely looked away, leaving the teen to sigh a bit.

"Okay, fine then, let's go see something else," Lloyd said, trying to ignore his disappointment.

"Lloyd, this is a waste of time," the man brought a hand to his head, "I…I apologize if I made you upset enough to do this, but-"

"If I stop it now, well you come down and celebrate with us?" the teen interrupted, an eyebrow raised at his father.

"No-"

"Then this isn't a waste of time," he glared, his stubborn nature put to use, "I'm not going to give up, Dad."

As the man went to say something, they found themselves in quite a different scene. What they found was a family of three seated down to dinner, all of them blonde, consisting of an elderly woman, a middle-aged man and a familiar female Chosen. The family had apparently just seated themselves down before the meal, smiles on all present as they took their seats.

"That's all it has to be, really," Lloyd said from beside Kratos, his eyes on the scene, "It doesn't have to be a crazy party or anything, it doesn't even have to be food like this…it just has to be people together."

"…" Kratos hesitated, "Lloyd…"

What could he possibly say? He…wasn't worthy of joy, wasn't worthy of happiness, wasn't worthy of the right to call him his son. Dirk was the one with that right, that joy, that privilege…he had earned it where he himself never would.

The blond father cleared his throat.

"Well, before we eat, I'd like to say something," Frank smiled.

"What is it, Father?" Colette asked, blinking.

"Well….I just want to say I'm very grateful," he said, looking at her, "Your grandmother and I both are, that you're here, Colette."

"Father?" the blond bit her lip, unsure of how to react.

"We had fifteen Christmases with you, and we savored every minute of it," the man said, looking at his daughter, "We did not ever think that we should have a sixteenth…so we- we are both immensely glad that you can be here today. We're…very…"

At this point the man choked slightly, unable to continue on. Here Phaidra spoke up, a small smile on her wise, aged face.

"We are very happy you're still here with us, Colette," the woman said, "We thought that when you left, that would be the last we would see of you…just that you are alive and with us is blessing enough, no matter the day."

"Grandmother…Father…" Colette whispered, her eyes welling up a bit.

Frank fidgeted just a moment before he got up out of his seat, rounding the table's edge and wrapping his daughter tightly within his arms. Gently he kissed her forehead and then held the back of her head, doing his best to fight the tears forming in his eyes.

"F…Father…" Colette whispered.

"I love you so much, Colette…" he choked a bit, "I just want you to know that, all right…?"

Colette hugged him back, tears slipping down her cheeks as a smile flitted onto her face.

"I love you too, Father…" she said.

"…" Kratos looked away.

"A parent's love for their child is amazing, isn't it?" Lloyd said with just a tinge of bitterness, causing the purple-clad man to flinch.

He deserved this pain, he told himself. After everything he had put this child through, he deserved every ounce of pain, deserved every drop of bitterness and anger that the teen had for him. Lloyd was deserving of far better than anything he could hope to provide, Lloyd…should hate him, it would be better that way.

It was then that the dual swordsman said something that abruptly shook the Seraph from his thoughts.

"I'm sorry," he sighed.

"Pardon?" the man said, turning to look at him.

"I put your through a lot of pain saying stuff like that, back on the journey, didn't I?" Lloyd muttered, glancing aside. "Is…that why you don't want to hang around me much? Do I just keep hurting you?"

No. No, of course not, he wanted nothing more than to be around his son- but was that true? After all he had just said to convince himself that Lloyd would be better off without him, that Lloyd didn't need him? This was absurd, he loved his son, loved him more than he could describe, and yet he couldn't bring himself to act like it…

"No," he managed to say, "Lloyd, you…nothing you have said or done is wrong, you have done nothing that would you need to apologize for."

"Then what is it?" Lloyd asked, frowning. "Why don't you- Why won't you do things like that with me? I get that you don't like being around people too much, but…couldn't you make an exception just every once in a while? Or…or do you want to be away from me too?"

"No, of course not," he shook his head, "That's not true at all, Lloyd, it is merely that…"

His voice faltered and he was left once again with a gnawing feeling of emptiness that came from not knowing what it was to say. The words would not form as the thoughts would not form as well, and he found himself cursing the thousands of years he had roamed this earth only to result in feeling so inexperienced in the manners of interacting with other people.

"You don't have an answer for me," Lloyd muttered, biting his lip a bit as he glanced away from his father, "Do you?"

"Lloyd-"

"Dad, look," he said, gesturing to the family which had no settled down to dine, "What do you see here, Dad? You see people eating, but that's not really seeing anything! You don't see that they're people who _care _about each other, caring _for _each other, _with _each other! That's love, that's family, Dad! That's Christmas! Love and family! I- I know you don't- you can't hate those things, right? So why do you hate Christmas?"

"Lloyd, I-"

The tolling of a clock echoed in their ears, the people they viewed showing no sign of hearing it. Kratos twitched slightly as Lloyd stood steadily in his tracks, his eyes locked on his father.

"I know you don't hate me, Dad, and I don't hate you," he muttered, "but I hate what you do, I hate how you can't see what's right in front of you because you keep looking over your shoulder."

Instead of whiting out as it had done before, the area around them turned black, leaving Kratos standing in the abyss with Lloyd, who was beginning to fade away.

"Please, Dad…I don't want to hate anything about you," he whispered.

At the last, booming toll, he had disappeared completely, leaving Kratos alone in the darkness. He went to call for Lloyd, but stopped, knowing full well it would do nothing at that the boy would be safe. So instead he tried to get his bearings in the darkness, sensing nothing aside from a cold chill that began to slither its way over his being. He turned as he felt the presence of another being behind him, turning to find a figure blending with the darkness, a dark cloaked that concealed every part of whomever it was that had found him. To his own surprise, the hairs on the back of his neck began to rise, seeing the fabric seem to shift and morph of its own accord, as if flitting, sludging through water.

"…Christmas yet to be, correct?" Kratos asked, with far more effort than he thought would be necessary.

Its face was covered by the draping black hood, though a nod was detected. Kratos knew well enough that whoever it was would not speak until they must, such was the role they played. Though truthfully, the ghost of the future did not speak at all, he had a feeling that would not be the case.

"…" he closed his eyes, "Very well, let us go."

The figure turned from him and began to walk off into the shadows, the angel reluctantly following. All the while his thoughts drifted over what his son and wife had said, and knowing very well that he was not going to like what he was most likely to see.

**A tad short, but that was all I could dish out…I thought it did the job, at any rate. (Shrug)**

**Oh ho ho…next chapter is going to be WICKED X3 I know I said it already, but I adore Dickens…he had just to right twisted little touch to torture his characters with heart-jerkers…(sighs dreamily) Am not worthy to be blessed with his writing…(starry eyed)**

**Review?**


	4. Of Christmas Yet to Be

**I had a candycane…and candycane-cocoa (drool)**

**Am now very happy n.n Which now conflicts with this dark tone of the chapter…**

**FRICK! D: Oh well n.n**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Merry Christmas!**

**Of Christmas Yet to Be**

At first, he was not sure what it was he was seeing. They appeared to be in a home like that of any other family, a tree glowed warmly in the living room, stockings hung on the mantle and a family sat at the table to dine. That was it, then, they were seated but had yet begin to eat, seeing as the mother and her children, along with a short aging man, sat at the table along with two empty seats, watching as an adult male anxiously paced in front of the door.

"Sweetie, please…sit down, I'm sure he's fine-"

The backs of the mother and father were to him, but he realized quite clearly who they were when the father turned. A man with a face that greatly resembled his own, but with brown locks that fell not into his face, allowing a clear view of the brown eyes.

"…Lloyd…" Kratos whispered, his jaw dropping slightly.

"I- I know he's fine," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, "But he's late…very late…and he said he…"

"I'm sure he's coming," said the wife.

Kratos turned to get a look at her face, seeing that she was in fact Colette, the blonde woman getting up from her seat to approach Lloyd.

"It must be the storm that's keeping him, dear," she smiled softly, "It is snowing pretty badly…"

"…It wasn't snowing like this last year," Lloyd muttered, his eyes misted somewhat.

"Oh..um…I- T- That doesn't matter, right? He said he'd come this time," she said, forcing a small smile.

Lloyd looked away from her, causing the woman to sigh a bit.

"…Who is it they wait for?" Kratos asked softly, looking toward the empty seat.

The cloaked figure merely shook its head, pointing to Lloyd and Colette with its dark-gloved hand. It needn't answer him, Kratos had a feeling he knew who it was.

"They're waiting for me?" Kratos said, frowning a bit. "I…see, well, I suppose- …I-?"

"He's not coming, is he?" Lloyd frowned, interrupting his father, though unknowingly. "He's not going to spend Christmas with us, again, isn't he?"

"Lloyd-"

"I'll be back, Colette," he said, grabbing his coat off the rack, "I'm going to find him."

"L- Lloyd!" the blond stammered. "But- But the children-"

"I'll be back soon, I swear," he smiled weakly at her, "I just have to see him, just for a few minutes."

"But…" she bit her lip, wringing her hands before her white-clad torso as her golden locks shifted with her head.

"I'm an angel, remember? Cold can't kill me," he smiled gently, lifting her chin with his hand, "I'll be back before dinner even gets cold, I promise."

"Daddy! Where you going?!" the youngest child, of blond boy of about three cried.

"Daddy's gonna go get Grampa!" said a brown-haired girl, perhaps six.

"Y…Yeah…" muttered the eldest, a ten year old boy with auburn hair, "Dad…be careful, okay?"

Lloyd turned and flashed them all a smile before giving Colette a light kiss and heading for the door.

"Behave, I'll be back soon, I promise," he called back as he left the home.

"…" Kratos frowned deeply, "If I am not here, then where is it I am?"

The world churned around them, as if it was being engulfed in a whirlpool of filthy water, eventually turning solid black before fading to a new scene. They appeared to be in the woods, the towering trees swaying as they were buffeted by the howling wind which with it brought avalanches of snow. Trudging through the near white-out was Lloyd, his breath barely visible in the air as a result of the snow, though his brown eyes seemed all the more apparent in the blistering storm.

"What is he doing out here when it's like this?" Kratos scoffed, concern showing itself as anger. "He's going to freeze- Why would he look out here?"

The cloaked figure pointed its arm once more, the dark fabric that hung from the appendage blowing violently in the wind as well toward a silhouette further out.

"…What is-?" Kratos began.

Lloyd spotted it and made a dash for the shadow, finding it to the be the shadow of a house.

"Finally," Lloyd muttered, forcing the door open.

How it was Kratos found himself inside as well, he wasn't quite sure, but he watched as Lloyd slammed the door behind him in a dark house, recognizing it to be Dirk's house. It was empty, it appeared, most likely because Dirk himself was at Lloyd and Colette's house. Lloyd made his way up the stairs to what was once his bedroom, opening it to find a scene much like the one Kratos had left prior to this whole event. The room was dimly lit and a spiky-haired figure sat silently on a chair beside the window, looking out at the blurring barrage of frost. It turned as Lloyd entered, frowning a bit as the red-clad man shook some snow off of himself.

"What are you doing here?" the voice asked.

Kratos realized with a start that it was, in fact, himself…though he had been expecting such, this till unnerved him for one good reason. The fact was, the man before them did in fact look older, his hair was graying, and a few wrinkles were beginning to form on his face, around his tired eyes. However, he still did look more or less like…himself, but signs of aging were blatantly there.

"How…?" Kratos frowned. "My time began to move again? How is that-?"

The cloaked figure once again jabbed a finger toward the unfolding scene, making the angel frown just a bit but do so. They must have found a way to start his aging process again…they had been talking of such in his own time, after all…

"What am I doing here?" Lloyd snarled. "What are you doing here? We've all been worried sick!"

"…" he merely looked out the window, "You needn't be, go on, go back to your family."

"You are my family!" Lloyd snarled, taking a determined step toward his father. "You do this every year, Dad! You promised this time, you promised that you would come!"

"…"

"Don't you give me that again!" the brown-haired male snapped, his eyes narrowed in a deep glare. "You always do that when you have no better answer for me!"

"Then I have no answer," he said simply, "You should go, there is no point in staying."

Lloyd went to say something and then stopped, his mouth closing slowly as his eyes locked on his father, gleaming dangerously in the candle-light in a such a way the shadows made him look obscenely like his father.

"…There isn't, is there?" Lloyd said softly, coldly. "There isn't any point with you, is there?"

Kratos watched himself look up, unsure what his son meant.

"There isn't a point trying to deal with you, is there?" Lloyd continued, his voice steadily getting louder as anger wove its way into his tone. "Every year, every single year…you always do this. You lock yourself away, you don't bother talking to us, you don't bother even seeing us…"

"Lloyd-" he began.

"Don't 'Lloyd' me," he said.

He didn't shout, he didn't snarl, he just said it. Said it in a controlled, almost emotionless tone, one that quite frankly terrified Kratos to hear his son use.

"I don't want to hear this anymore, Dad," Lloyd whispered, his eyes misted, "You…I've been waiting for you, Dad. I've been waiting for you for years…I've been waiting for you to come around, I've been waiting for you to…to be my father."

Kratos choked a bit, his eyes widening as his elder self merely stared at their son.

"What is he…talking about?" Kratos whispered, his voice naught but a whisper.

"But I should just face the facts," Lloyd said softly, "You never are going to open up to us, are you? To me, you never are going to come around, are you?"

"I-"

"No, that's enough," he closed his eyes, shaking his head, "You always want to be alone, you always want to be away from us, from me… Why is that? Feh, nevermind, I know why that is."

His eyes opened, narrowed in a dangerous glare on his father.

"It's because you can't move on, can you? You can't stop living in the past…you can't forget about everything that happened," he spat.

"Of course I can't forget," he said weakly, looking away from his son, "I can't forget what I've done, I can't be forgiven-"

"Bull!" Lloyd snapped. "You can't forgive _yourself_, we've already forgiven you! You can't- It's not even that you can't forgive yourself, you don't _want_ to forgive yourself, is that it?! You want to keep muddling in your own self-pity!"

"That's not-" he began, his mouth agape somewhat.

"Yes it is, Dad!" Lloyd snapped, his teeth revealed in a snarl of sorts. "It's either that or- …you're scared."

Kratos looked like he had been slapped.

"…Scared?" his older self said slowly.

"You're scared of us, of me," Lloyd frowned, "Is that it? Is that why you don't…is that why you won't even try to get close? Are you afraid that…you'll lose us? Or that…you don't want us to reject you?"

"…"

"Grr…" Lloyd growled, "You- You are so- blind! No, no, you're not blind, you know that I want to know you, Dad, you know that I want us to really love each other like a family should, but you- you…you're just a coward!"

"…" both Seraphim gaped at him.

"That's it! You're a coward!" Lloyd roared. "You won't even take the chance to try to be a real family with us, will you?! You never will, will you?! No matter how many times I've tried, no matter what I do, no matter how long I wait… Well, that's it then. That's it, I've had enough."

He shook his head, turning from his father as he faced the door.

"If you want to be alone, fine, I'll leave you alone," he said in hardly more than a whisper, "I won't bother you anymore."

"Lloyd-" he began again.

"I won't come see you anymore, Kratos."

Kratos himself could only gape, finding himself stepping forward just as his elder self stood up.

"Lloyd, wait-" they said in unison.

"Wait, nothing!" Lloyd roared, rounding on his father. "I have been waiting! I've been waiting for years! I've been waiting for you, for when you were ready, but you never will be, will you?! I'm not going to wait forever, I can't wait forever! I have children of my own that I _am_ going to father, and I can't do that when I'm clinging to the hope you'll come around the same way you're clinging to your past!"

Both purple-clad men recoiled, an almost horrified expression on their faces.

"I won't do this anymore!" Lloyd scoffed, turning to go to the door once more, looking over his shoulder at his father. "Do you think Mom wanted you to brood for the rest of your life?! Do you think I want you to?! Did you ever think of that?! Did you ever think of me, of the kids?! No! You didn't! All you think about is yourself and your own goddamn GUILT! Well, if you want more guilt to add to your damn collection, here's one! You put me and your grandkids through this crap for long enough! I won't deal with it anymore! I won't, dammit!"

"…" both Kratos' stared at him, unable to say anything.

"I don't want to hear this anymore," Lloyd sighed, walking to the doorway, "Don't' bother coming to see us anymore, we wouldn't want to bother you…good-bye, D-…Kratos."

Kratos could only watch in horror as his son left, and his elder self could only stare after him as well. The angel could barely realize his surroundings, barely could think, he didn't even realize it when the tears began slipping from his eyes as his elder self slumped onto a chair and began to sob softly to himself.

"…No," Kratos whispered, barely able to choke out the word, "No, this-…this is…"

"He rejected you," said the cloaked figure.

Kratos turned just as the world fell apart around him, as if it was made of glass and shattered into a million pieces, falling to the floor and revealing the darkness around them, the utter blackness. He was alone with the cloaked figure, which pulled back the hood.

"Can you really blame him, hm? After all the shit you pulled, after jerking him around like that?" he spat, his blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "You're a fucking pathetic excuse for a father, and I know bad fathers, oh high and mighty angel."

Kratos flinched as Zelos grabbed him by the collar, glaring up at him with his teeth bared.

"Then even after, even a_fter_ my bud, with some infinite fucking patience, _forgave _you, gave you a _second chance_, tried to _get to know you_, what did you do, huh?! What _are _you doing?! I'll tell you what, you soulless asshole!" he spat in his face. "You did that! You did this! You kept pushing him away and pushing him away, you lost your chance because you, as I said, are a _pathetic _father!"

He shook Kratos once and then released him, smirking darkly when the Seraph merely stared down at him, unable to register a thought.

"Aw, what's the matter? Didn't expect it to be me?" he laughed, throwing back his head a bit before locking eyes with him again. "Well who were you expecting? Everyone else is too nice to do this…well, 'cept maybe Yuan, but being your friend and all…"

"You-" Kratos began.

"But trust me, I didn't complain about getting this job," Zelos smirked more widely, "When Origin told us about this part, I was more than eager to take it…I've been wanting to give you a piece of my mind for _so long_ now."

Kratos barely got to register a thought before Zelos was talking again, a rather unnerving satisfaction obvious in the ex-Chosen's expression.

"How does it feel, hm? To see all that," he grinned, a rather cat-like look, "To see that bud's not gonna wait forever, to see that- wake-up call! That you do in fact live in reality with the rest of us, hm? That eventually the future is going to come, that time is still going by…"

He lost his grin, his eyes narrowing into a piercing glare at the elder man.

"Did even that get through to you, you bastard, huh?" he hissed. "Do you realize what you're going to lose because you can't drop your damn baggage?"

"This- That is-" Kratos stammered, his heart beginning to pound rapidly against his chest.

"Do you know what I would do if I were you-? Which, thank the gods, I'm not?" Zelos pointed a finger in his face. "I would _take _this chance. Yeah, you don't deserve it, but you have it. Do you know what kind of pain you're putting my bud through? Do you know what Lloyd does every time you give him the cold shoulder!? I'll tell you what, he gets hurt! You are _not _a father in my eyes, Kratos if you _hurt _your _son!_"

"I…I…"

Hurting his son. He was still hurting his son, doing all this, he was still putting his son through pain. He…he didn't want that. But what else could he do? His son didn't deserve him-

"You don't deserve Lloyd!" Zelos snapped in his face. "Gods know that! But the fact is, for some reason, you lucky fuck, you have him! And he for some gods damned reason wants you here! He wants you to be his old man, but _you _are the one that's pushing that opportunity away so you can just crawl into your emo-corner and angst!"

When Kratos only stared in response, Zelos back-handed Kratos across the face, effectively stunning the angel.

"I'm not trying to get you to come around for my sake, or for yours, I don't give a rat's ass about you," Zelos glowered up at him, "But I will do this for Lloyd, because Lloyd's done so much for all of us that even _this _could never pay him back. You hate yourself, yeah we get it, I hate you too, but I _know _you don't hate Lloyd. So y'know what?"

He got his face as closed to Kratos' as possible, glaring death right into the purple-clad man's eyes.

"Take the fucking chance, or lose it," he spat.

Then he disappeared, as if he had been made of smoke, blowing away in the air by some unfelt wind. Kratos then saw something else, something that made his blood run cold.

"I told you, you'll lose him in the worst way you can…" Anna whispered sadly, her eyes misted.

"Anna…" he choked, gaping at her.

"You're so lost in the past you've lost your future," she said, frowning.

Kratos went to reach for her and she disappeared in the same manner as Zelos had, leaving her husband alone for but a second more before Lloyd appeared in her stead.

"I don't want to hate you, Dad…" he said, a mere echo of what the real thing had told him not an hour ago, "I don't want to hate you…"

"Lloyd!" Kratos shouted, his heart wrenching in his chest as he too disappeared.

How could this have happened? He deserved all of this, certainly, and yet- yet-…yet he didn't want it. He didn't want this, he couldn't take this, he didn't want to see Lloyd grow to hate him, didn't want to see Lloyd hurt anymore, didn't want to shame Anna's memory, to dash her hopes, her love… Then, suddenly, he had quite a selfish thought. He knew he was a selfish, sinful person, and yet this one seemed to seize him.

He wanted to be with Lloyd. He want to see him smile, laugh, he wanted to spend time in his son's presence, wanted to be there with him, right now.

He was so selfish, how could he want such a thing, when everything and everyone had told him he did not deserve it? But…but then…maybe this was his selfishness. Maybe…doing what he was, was the selfishness. He was hurting his last loved one, and the memory of his other loved one, all because he couldn't break the chain of guilt he himself had forged. Was he guilty? Yes, but…perhaps it was even more guilty of him that he did what he was doing… Lloyd was right, he was scared, wasn't he? And his own fear was what was hurting both him and his family. He…he had never even told Lloyd he loved him, had he? It was all his fault…he could never redeem himself-…but he had to start somewhere at least, didn't he? Perhaps he would not be able to correct a thing at all, but still…still…

All he knew was that at that moment, he had never wanted to see Lloyd more.

**Oh God I am so evil. I love playing mind-games with my poor little victims…X3**

**Would you believe I am in fact in a very warm, happy Christmasy mood? **

**Didn't think so XD**

**Review? n.n Merry Christmas! :D (gets a candycane) **


	5. Of Christmas in this Chance

**Merry Christmas! n.n Hope you all have a great day! God Bless! :D**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Of Christmas In This Chance**

"…You don't think it was too much, do you?" Lloyd frowned deeply, looking up toward the stairs, his head propped up on his hand.

"Nah, it was nothing he didn't need," Zelos shrugged, slouching in a chair with his feet propped up on the small table.

"Zelos, get your feet off there!" Sheena scoffed. "You didn't even tell us what happened with you!"

"What?" he scoffed. "I just got back, he's probably having a moment to think about all of this stuff, it's not like this can kill him. Wasn't my idea to begin with…"

"Okay, so who was Christmas Past?" Lloyd frowned. "I mean, I didn't see anyone leave anywhere…"

As he said this his exsphere gleamed just a bit, but no one took any notice. Lloyd sighed a bit more and then looked back at the stairs, biting his lip. After a moment he got up, unable to stay seated any longer.

"I'm going to see if he's okay-" he began.

"Leave him," Yuan cut in, glaring a bit, "It's his lesson to learn, Lloyd, you can't do this for him."

"But-"

The sound of a door opening drew their attention, all eyes shooting to the stairs. Slowly the sounds of feet meeting creaking wooden steps came to their eyes, and the purple-clad man descended into their midst. They all merely watched him as he came onto the first floor, his eyes somewhat misty as he looked at them.

"…D-" Lloyd began.

"That was a senseless thing to do, Lloyd," Kratos spat icily, marching up to his son.

"S- Senseless-? What'd I-?"

"Using the Eternal Sword for something like this, it was downright childish," the man spat, crossing his arms, "The most powerful object in the universe is not yours to fool with at your whims."

"B- But-" Lloyd stammered, put off at his father's glare.

"Oh hell, don't you dare-!" Zelos began.

He cut off quite abruptly, seeing as his- along with everyone else's- mouths dropped. Kratos had pulled Lloyd near into a tight hug, the brown-haired boy's eyes going wide in shock. The man held his son close, burying his face into his hair as he brought one hand to feather through the brown locks.

"D- D-?!" Lloyd stammered, his mouth agape.

"I'm so sorry, Lloyden…" Kratos choked softly, so only Lloyd could hear, "I'm so sorry…"

"I…you…?" he blinked, in shock.

Kratos pushed him back, holding him at arm's length. Lloyd could only continue to stare at him as Kratos looked him up and down, soaking his appearance, his presence, every little detail of the most precious person in his existence.

"Dad? Are you okay…?" Lloyd trailed, frowning a bit. "I- It didn't make you go nuts, did it-?"

"No," Kratos shook his head, "No, not at all, Lloyd… I am…a lot better than I have been in a very long time."

The man looked at his son one more time before a smile, as warm as the first rays of spring, flourished onto his face. Lloyd gaped at the man, as did everyone, as the angel smiled and then gave a light chuckle, placing his hand on Lloyd's head only to fondle with his hair.

"Thank you, Lloyden," he smiled gently, his eyes gleaming with warmth, "You….never cease to amaze me."

"…" he could only stare back, blinking once or twice.

"Okay, who spiked my eggnog?" Yuan asked, holding up his glass.

"No one, secondly, that's whiskey," Raine sighed.

"Oh…right," he said, eying the glass before shrugging and taking another swig, "It's still pretty messed up."

"I suppose it is unlike me, hm?" Kratos sighed, his smile gone, looking at his friend. "I apologize, my friend."

Yuan spat the liquor all over the floor, damn near drenching Regal, who flinched and scooted away.

"Woah, your what?" he shook his head, staring at the man. "You…you haven't call me that in-"

"Centuries, I am aware," he closed his eyes, "Forgive me, Yuan, but I have something more important to do as of now."

He turned to Lloyd, who was still unable to register a real reaction. Kratos frowned as he locked eyes with him, the warm gleam in his eyes vanished without a trace.

"I'd like to speak with you, Lloyden," he said.

"Huh-? I- Y- Yeah!" he nodded rapidly. "S- Sure! Be right back guys!"

Kratos turned and headed back upstairs without another word, Lloyd dashing off after him. Of course, this left the remainder of his companions speculating, but they were not of the concern of either Aurion at the moment. Once upstairs, Lloyd closed the door, nervously looking at his father. Before he spoke, Kratos did so in his stead.

"I have not been a very…good father, have I?" he frowned.

"W- What-? N- No! Not at all, Dad! You're not a bad-"

Kratos raised an eyebrow, which caused Lloyd to attempt to speak a moment more before closing his mouth, glancing away.

"I apologize, Lloyden," Kratos' face fell, "That I…am not the kind of father you deserve, however…I have…learned, something throughout this entire…event."

He closed his eyes, silent for a moment as Lloyd fidgeted a bit.

"…I have…been causing you pain, have I not?"

"Well…" the boy trailed, biting his lip.

"…Lloyd, I know that I am not the kind of person you deserve to be your father, I know that I am not worthy of forgiveness, however I want to…try, to be," he opened his eyes, looking at his son. "I…lost you once, Lloyden, and quite honestly…though you may think me selfish, I truly…do not want to lose you again."

His voice cracked somewhat on the last few words, his thoughts drifting back to what he had just seen. He took a deep breath and approached Lloyd again, frowning deeply.

As much as he hated to admit, Zelos had been right…he had this chance, for some reason, and…there was no point in not taking it. In the beginning, when he thought only he himself would suffer, he didn't think he should take it. Though now, now that he knew- or rather, finally acknowledged- that Lloyd was suffering, still, a s a result of his actions… Habits were not easy to break. This was true, and even m ore truthfully, Kratos did not expect to change much of who he was, despite that, he was willing to try to change in some ways… He had to change, at least in the ways that harmed his child. That and…it was true, was it not? He lived in the past, he clung to it, and…if he didn't loosen his grip on it, Lloyd would slip from his fingers instead…. He couldn't hold on to both of them, he realized that now…

Though behind all this 'logic', all these thoughts, he found himself realizing something, a hidden bubble of raw emotion caged behind the bars of his steeled 'logic'.

The small part of him that was still human, still a father made its case loud and clear.

He loved Lloyd, and couldn't bear to lose him, not ever again.

"Heh heh," Lloyd grinned.

"Hm?" Kratos frowned.

"Aw, Dad…I didn't want you to get all mushy on me…" he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as his face flushed, "I…I just wanted you to cheer up a bit, really, I'm…I'm sorry, I guess I overdid it-"

"Lloyden," Kratos interrupted.

"H- Huh? Yes?" Lloyd blinked.

Kratos smiled gently, slowly putting his hand on Lloyd's head again.

"…I love you, my son," he whispered.

Lloyd's jaw dropped somewhat, his eyes widening as he looked up at his father. Kratos feathered the teen's hair a bit and Lloyd slowly smiled as well, his eyes misting up.

"Aw, dang it, Dad!" he laughed. "What did I just say about mushy stuff!? I did over-do it!"

His laugh faltered as a sob caught in his throat… Then he hugged his father tightly, smiling widely to himself as the man's eyes widened somewhat, having not expected the same gift in return, though he did slowly wrap his arms around the boy once more. A smile of contentment, of peace graced his lips but a moment before it fell oncemore.

"Well, truthfully, I do plan on lecturing you on that later," he frowned, "but I'll let it go for now, after all…"

Lloyd drew back, raising an eyebrow as his father smirked slightly.

"It is Christmas."

The teen grinned widely.

So it was for that moment, for that day, everything was as it should be. A family, that had long ago been separated, then reunited, had began their first step toward a beautiful, loving relationship. Now of course, this was not the end of their trials, nor is it the end of the story, for a story no matter what length is merely a prologue to what will come after it. No matter the tribulation, the fact is it too shall pass, it too is a prologue, and once it is over, one's story begins. This must all keep in mind during their lives, and brought to light especially on the most holy of days. With that, a beginning begins, and love for family, for friends, for life begins to truly take its hold, and on no better day to do it then on the most loving of days… Yes, for that moment, for that day, everything was fine.

"So will you go caroling with us?" Lloyd asked as they headed downstairs.

"Don't push your luck."

**Well, that was probably pretty cheesey…but that's how it came out n.n' Besides, it's Christmas, and dang nabit I'm treating myself and everyone to this fluff X3 **

**Merry Christmas! n.n **


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